I haven't posted in ages. Part of it is the time demands of N, who is now truly a toddler and needs lots of active engagement. But mostly I've been silent because I've been in a creative slump.
Oh, I've still been crafting. Sporadically. But I haven't felt inspired. I've been collecting patterns and stash and reading and reorganizing and planning but not doing much.
I've finally figured out that it is due to feeling insecure, not in a "are my skills ok?" way but a more basic lack of personal and financial security. I'm having anxiety issues over how much money we are spending on the renovation, and whether it will give us the house we want, and other things. Apparently I can't be creative unless I have a level of stress that is lower than mine has been for a while.
This is one of my personal idiosyncrasies, obviously, as otherwise the suffering artist wouldn't be such a strong trope! I deal with the stress by looking over past achievements, wallowing in patterns and plans, and hoarding my stash. I don't create.
In the last month I've been trying to counter this by making myself complete small projects. I'm embracing the ideas of WIP Wednesday and Finish It Friday, the first priorities for these being the unfinished embroidery class projects from 2013. I'm also trying to get small task done everyday - last night, for example, I finally put some elastic in the waist of some pants that have been waiting for months.
I also have a deadline to give me some momentum - I said I'd have a crafty stall at a fete in February which a friend is organizing.
Being a crafty person is a huge part of my identity and I think I've been sad and mad at myself in this slump. Working to get back in the swing of things will be difficult and I'm sure I'll have days when I don't get the time or don't have the motivation. So please, ask me how things are going! Keep me accountable!
